When It's A Jar by Tom Holt

By Tom Holt

Maurice has simply killed a dragon with a breadknife. And had his future foretold . . . and had his real love lively away. That's exactly the kind of stuff that'd convey out the latent heroism in someone. regrettably, Maurice is beautiful certain he hasn't acquired any latent heroism.

Meanwhile, a guy wakes up in a jar in a special form of pickle (figuratively speaking). He can't get out, after all, yet neither can he take note his identify, or what gravity is, or what these issues at the ends on his legs are known as . . . and each time he begins operating all of it out, anyone makes him put out of your mind back. fail to remember everything.

Only something can help him. the reply to the main baffling query of all.

WHEN IS A DOOR no longer A DOOR?

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When It's A Jar

Maurice has simply killed a dragon with a breadknife. And had his future foretold . . . and had his real love lively away. That's exactly the kind of stuff that'd deliver out the latent heroism in a person. regrettably, Maurice is beautiful yes he hasn't obtained any latent heroism.

Meanwhile, a guy wakes up in a jar in a special form of pickle (figuratively speaking). He can't get out, in fact, yet neither can he bear in mind his identify, or what gravity is, or what these issues at the ends on his legs are known as . . . and each time he starts off operating all of it out, somebody makes him disregard back. put out of your mind everything.

Only something can assist him. the reply to the main baffling query of all.

WHEN IS A DOOR no longer A DOOR?

Additional info for When It's A Jar

Sample text

Medida que Tertuliano Máximo Afonso havia desenrolado o seu discurso, o empregado, de puro assombro, de pura admiração, ia arregalando mais e mais os olhos, definitivamente conquistado por um cliente que não só sabia o que queria como também dava as melhores 33 razões para querê-lo, coisa sobre todas rara no comércio e em particular nestas lojas de aluguer de vídeos. Há que dizer, no entanto, que uma aborrecida nódoa maculava de interesse baixamente mercantil o puro assombro e a pura admiração patentes na arroubada cara do empregado, e foi ela, em simultâneo, o pensamento de que sendo a produtora em questão uma das mais activas e antigas do mercado, este cliente, a quem não devo esquecer-me de tratar sempre por senhor Máximo Afonso, acabará deixando na caixa registadora uma boa quantidade de dinheiro quando chegar ao fim do tal trabalho, estudo, ensaio, ou lá o que seja.

Tertuliano Máximo Afonso conhecia estes móveis, este cortinado, esta alcatifa, ou julgava conhecêlos, possivelmente o que lhe aconteceu foi ter lido um dia num romance ou num conto a lacónica descrição de um outro gabinete de um outro director de uma outra escola, o que, assim sendo, e no caso de vir a ser demonstrado com o texto à vista, o obrigará a substituir por uma banalidade ao alcance de qualquer pessoa de razoável memória o que até hoje tinha pensado ser uma intersecção entre a sua rotineira vida e o majestoso fluxo circular do eterno retomo.

Segundo os gostos do classificador. Esta tendência congénita, a que não saberiam nem poderiam resistir, tomou-se, com o decorrer do tempo, em um gravíssimo e se calhar insolúvel problema de comunicação, quer a colectiva de todos, quer a particular de tu a tu, que foi o de acabarem por confundir-se os alhos e os bugalhos, as tornas e as deixas, usurpando as palavras o lugar daquilo que antes, melhor ou pior, pretendiam expressar, do que resultou, finalmente, bem te conheço ó máscara, esta atroadora algazarra de latas vazias, este cortejo carnavalesco de latões com rótulo mas sem nada dentro, ou apenas, já desvanecendo- se, o cheiro evocativo dos alimentos para o corpo e para o espírito que algum dia contiveram e guardavam.

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